In my head, I've seen something that at various
times has meant something different through various times in my life. It's an image, a picture, a moment in my mind, what I see is this, a boy looking out of a window, looking out at the world. Now, I don't know why this image haunts me so much, perhaps it's because I feel sorrow, or perhaps because I see a bit of myself within the child. I suppose it's just another one of life's mysteries waiting to be solved, if ever. At this point in time, I would imagine that the boy is looking out the window, wishing he knew freedom. It's this thought that reminds me of myself, of a lot of people. We've all felt the feeling before, the why is a difficult question to answer, sometimes we're restrained by law, sometimes we do not possess the will, sometimes we refrain from being free because of fear. These are the chains that bind us; these are the chains that keep us from doing what we want.
The fear sometimes confuses me however,
sometimes I can't seem to understand what it is we're afraid of, a myriad of reasons come to mind. I've come to realize that these constraints sometimes make us who we are; I've realized that not everything we want is possible. I've come to understand that rules make everything work together; the rules are the oil that lubricates the wheels and the levers. Perhaps the rules are the leavers that start the wheels, I don't know. The one thing I do know is that men are evil. It's not something we do intentionally, it just sort of happens; it is human nature I suppose. We are naturally greedy and self centered, I can't think back to a time in my life where we haven't done something good just for the sake of doing it, we've always reaped the benefits of whatever it was, like I said. It's unintentional. I suppose that it really isn't human nature, it is primal nature, kill or be killed, we do what we must. I realize it sounds cruel; to place us with animals, but it's all the same. So believe when I say our will to dominate is something very intriguing. Our need to be bigger, better, stronger, it's something fascinating, how much we strive for perfection, yet sometimes we sit by and idly waste away. That is the enemy I suppose, time, tick tock, tick tock. We waste away through the day, with every breath, with every
palpitation of our hearts. We slowly fade.
Don't worry though; it's alright, it's all a part of the cycle,
it's all a part of this bigger thing we call life. It's a strange thing really, but in short summation this is how it goes; we are born, we live, we grow, we age slowly, and as we turn older our bodies start failing, as this all starts happening we slowly start to perish, in the end we all die, that's it. That's basically it, but of course in between there are various moments, various memories that we live through. Yet the enemy still ticks, it counts down to the hour of our great demise. The idea isn't something you get used to, that's where fear kicks in, that's where it strikes us that not everything is eternal. Like the great mountains slowly erode so do we, the circle turns, people die whilst new beings are brought forth to this world we live in. It's a reason to never slow down, it's the epitome of life, we have to press on while we're here, because when we're gone, we're gone, there's no coming back, there's no what-ifs. We press on through the days, with a strength we never knew; we do what we want, when we want, hah, if only. We don't even possess the will to do this, fear strikes yet again, and what-ifs come into mind. We all do it, it's almost impossible, sometimes it's to avoid problems, and sometimes it's for the sake of not hurting someone's feelings. It's hard to do and say what we want all the same, but at the same time what's the use of ideas if you never put them into action? If all we have is one moment to do something making a decision becomes harder and harder, we get one chance to do something, and if we mess that up then a string of consequences are rendered. It's a careful tip-toe process, but every action has a reaction.