Habobo
21 oktober 2008
· 198 Inlägg
You Might be a Ricer If .......
• You have more exhaust decibels than your engine has horsepower.
• You have aftermarket FRONT wheels for racing but stock rear wheels.
• Your engine makes twice as much horsepower as torque.
• 17" rims up front, 13" out back on your FWD.
• You ever painted your wheels to match the same color of your car.
• You put your automatic car in neutral at every stoplight in order to roll it back and try to fool other people into thinking you have a manual transmission.
• DuPont gave up trying to figure out the shade you were asking for.
• Your mod list includes stereo equipment, shifter handle, MOMO steering wheel, driving lights, exhaust tip, but no REAL performance engine parts.
• A chameleon lizard undergoes fewer shade changes than your custom paint scheme.
• Your rims and tires are so large, that you have to install the tire / wheel from underneath the car because it simply won't fit in the wheel well going in from the side.
• The dealer laughs when you bring your car back in for service under warranty, and you've only had it 6 months...
• All 4 tires/rims stick out from the wheel opening of your car.
• You installed spacers on your STOCK wheels and tires to get them to stick out past the wheel openings.
• You see cars that look just like yours in a Shriner's Parade and there are clowns driving them.
• You bring an empty Maxwell House coffee can with you to compare size when you shop for an aftermarket exhaust system.
• Your Eclipse GS-T hardtop has a "SPYDER" emblem on the rear...
• Your sum knowledge of suspension is: "the more negative camber, the better the handling."
• You push your car through the staging lanes. That way, maybe you can break into the 16s by keeping the motor cool between runs.
• You add a super tall rear wing, and a hundred pounds of aftermarket ground effects, neon and stereo yet you gut the interior and yank out the rear seat for weight savings.
• Your rear wing AND your rear window have a third brake light...
• The back lighting in the gauges in your A-pillar gauge pod work long before the actual gauges are hooked up.
• You cut 4 coil springs and scrape the chassis on the ground. Sparks are cool when you corner at normal traffic speeds!
• You have to find a way to drive AROUND speed bumps in a parking lot so you don't break your neon underbody lights.
• You install clear corner and brake lights.
• You install colored bulbs in your aftermarket clear lenses.
• You painted the UNDERBODY of your car to match
• If your rear spoiler is taller then you are.
• If you can fit your fist inside of your exhaust tip
• If your tailpipe extension is the most expensive mod you’ve done to your engine yet.
• Your tailpipe extension fell off during a quarter mile race and you went three tenths of a second faster due to weight savings.
• You spent $5,000 or more on the engine and you still can't out run a stock Camaro, Firebird, or Mustang
• You want the 'wastegate' sound, but don't want to install a turbocharger system.
• You think Nitrous Oxide on your Hyundai Sonata puts you in the same performance league as a Corvette.
• The automatic version of your car runs 2 seconds slower in the 1/4mile.
• If the 1970 Plymouth Daytona Superbird has a smaller spoiler than your car does.
• You think the Del Sol or a Sonata is a sports car...
• A "High-Stall" converter does NOTHING for your cars performance.
• You think a deep farty noise is the sound of high performance.
• If you think that horsepower is far more important than torque
• If you have ever claimed that switching to a cone filter has given you more than 5 HP.
• If you have ever considered installing more than one set of fog / driving lights on the same car at the same time.
• If you claim that the aftermarket cold air intake system you just installed doubled your horsepower or took 2 or more seconds off of your E/T.
• You spent all night on the Internet trying to find a company that makes a turbocharger system for your Hyundai...
• If you removed your side view mirrors and put them at the TOP of the door / window frame.
• If you think the Fugees are 'speed' music.
• MOMO is 'absolutely required' to go fast.
• Your four cylinder has a dual exhaust system installed.
• Your four cylinder has four exhaust pipes ("Hey, one for each cylinder!")
• The color(s) of your interior upholstery hurts other people's eyes.
• If you can't drive your car in snow because the ground effects create a plowing effect.
• If you have installed driving lights to compensate for headlight blackouts / tape.
• If you think that 180 horsepower and 185 lb/ft of torque are impressive for a ‘mildly’ modified engine.
• If you have stickers on your car for parts that you couldn't point out if asked where those parts are installed.
• You think pushrods are a bad thing…
• Your car has more stickers on it than your cars ET is in the 1/4 mile.
• Every Honda you EVER owned, all the way back to your 1978 Accord was either a V-Tec or a TYPE-R.
• If you gutted the interior to save weight but you will never take to the track.
• You lean your seat so far back when you are driving, that every time you hit a bump, its your back and not your butt that hurts.
• You have hydraulics and sixteen switches on a car you claim runs low 10s on the street and corners better than a Porsche.
• If you can estimate that your car makes more than 250 HP without ever running it at the track or getting a dyno reading.
• You claim that you can get a titanium block for your engine.
• If you have ever thought Hyundai and "performance" went hand in hand
• If you've ever gone to a parts shop or speed warehouse and asked for a 1" to 6" exhaust adapter...
• If you've ever contemplated adding "TYPE-R" stickers to your Sonata…
• If you've removed more than 1/2 of the coils from your springs by cutting them yourself ...
• If you have more neon lights on your car than a strip club...
• You own a "TYPE-R" Hyundai or Mazda.
• You couldn't afford headlight masking, so you just painted them with flat black Krylon and it's peeling. Badly.
• You claim that polishing your intake gave you 5hp.
• You own a V-TEC Hyundai or Mazda (especially a V-TEC rotary engined Mazda RX-7)
• You have neon INSIDE your car or in your ENGINE compartment
• You ever claimed that high gas mileage made your car superior in performance to V8s.
• If it takes you 8000rpm to reach 30mph from a dead stop at WOT.
• You think yellow plastic interior trim makes your car cool
• If you paint your drum brakes to simulate Hi-po calipers
• If you install fake hi-po caliper / disc simulators
• You have a front wing.
• If you lower your car and add ground effects but retain the stock 14inch wheels with disc style wheel covers
• If you equate the sound of performance with the sound of a Weed Eater™
• If you think bolting a fake muffler to one side to simulate dual exhaust is cool
• If you think colored head lights work better
• You claim you lost the race because you had a passenger in the car.
• You claim that if you had a rolling start you would have beat him.
• You claim you lost because you missed a shift... and your car is an automatic.
• You claim you lost because he must have been on the juice..
• Flying past the person who is 10 car lengths in front of you after they have put on their brakes.. and claim a victory.
• after losing you flip your opponent off... rev your motor and fail to break the wheels loose even around a corner.
• Tell everyone about how you lost the cop because of your "driving skills".
• drive around in a $20,000 import with $10,000 in mods.. and still live with your parents.
• You can relate to every line of the song "Pretty Fly For A White Guy" by the Offspring
• … And the Number One reason you might be a ricer is ....... you are a skinny, backwards hat wearing kid, with a dog chain wallet, 2 ft wide pant legs, and you wear your waistline half way down on your azz, and you have the Limp Bizkit looking boy fag, fake limp, and a badly applied peroxide spiked hair job and you walk around sayin' something like, "Know wha I'm sayin' yo"!
Author Unknown
1332 - Överjävlig
